Another week down

When you are constantly living in a state of "when you come home" days take on a different meaning. Some of the women I deal with on Instagram have countdown clocks for when their husbands/boyfriends will be home. I don't have a countdown clock. As of right now we are in limbo as far as when he will come home. He has a brief submitted to the Criminal Court of Appeals. His case was remanded back to trial court on his previous appeal and he was offered time served and could have come home but the decision was made for him to stay and fight. He did not want to come home a convicted felon. The way he put it to me...take 20 years of your life...they don't have to be 20 consecutive years...take the 20 worst years of your life and just imagine if they had never happened. How would your life be different? That was such a powerful statement on how he feels and what his life has been like....can you imagine being imprisoned your entire 20's and 30's? All of the things you would have missed out on...all the life experience you gained....just gone. He has been in prison longer than he has been out now. He was arrested 5 days after his 18th birthday and has been incarcerated every since. We have made the decision that if he is offered time served again he will take it. We are not getting any younger. Our girls are soon to be teenagers. He has missed the majority of their lives. We would love to have a child of our own. I will be 39 in a few months. The risks that come with having a baby after the age of 40 scare me. So for now there will be no countdown clock for me. I always know that every day is another day closer to him being home but at the same time. I try to not get my hopes up. The same corrupt justice system that put him there in the first place is the same system deciding his fate again. We pray and just keep faith that everything will work out as it should but I will keep fighting outside while he keeps fighting inside. We will get through this just as we have gotten through everything else. Faith in God and faith in each other.